Wednesday, October 7th 2009

Wednesday, October 7^th 2009

 

MY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

I woke this morning and ran alongside Lake Victoria.  Same as usual except for the fact that on my way home a little girl in a red dress started running behind me.  I thought maybe she was running to school and was scared to pass me so I crossed to the other side of the street.  She followed.  I crossed back to the other side of the street and she followed me again!  Finally I turned around to acknowledge her and she smiled and ran ahead with exaggerated running motions – laughing and mocking me.  It was funny.  The kids just think it’s SO funny that mzungus go running for no reason.

Afterwards I stopped at Mercy’s to get my yogurt, milk and water.  I asked her about her family.

“I was one of nine children.  Two have died from AIDS.  My mother died from diabetes.  My father died of a stroke.”

People here just get used to the fact that death is a part of life.  They accept it.  They move on. 

“How about your family?”  I asked.

“ I have four children.  Two boys and two girls.”

“That’s the same as my family.”  I said.  “Two boys and two girls.”

“Ahh.”  She replied.  “One of my daughters wanted to interview at Educate! but she couldn’t get off from work.”  She looked down.  “I am upset.  She graduated with a degree in social work and all she can do now is sell headdresses.  She’s not using her education.  She’s smart.  She’s hardworking.”  She looked at me.  “Is there anything you can do?”

“I will try.”  I said.  But I knew interviews had already passed and the Educate! staff had already turned away a few people that had tried to interview at the compound the day before.

I decided to change the topic until I knew if I could help her.

“Its my birthday today Mercy!”

“Ahh, that’s wonderful.”  She replied.  “How old?”

“28.”

“I am 48 and I am lucky.  A lot of people don’t live to my age.”

I nodded.  “I have been thinking about it a lot.  I think one of the secrets to happiness in life is not dwelling on your age or the passing of time but enjoying each stage of life.  Youth.  Having money and freedom to do what you want.  Marriage.  Children.  Grandchildren.  The comfort of knowing that you will be cared for in your old age by those you nurtured when they were helpless.”

Mercy shook her head.  “That is only true for those who live a good life.”

How right she is.  A wonderful piece of advice from the “yogurt lady of Buziga.”

Its funny…but one of the things I’ve learned in Uganda is that I never knew how to listen to someone.  Ernest Hemingway once said, “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” And I never knew what that meant, but now I do.  Listening and conversating takes more than passing banal comments back and forth – it comes from being genuinely interested in what they’re saying and understanding why they’re saying it to you.

Before I left Mercy said, “wait!  She pulled out a little pound-cake looking thing from under the counter.  “Here is your birthday present!”

If you could have told me last year that on my 28^th birthday my first present would have been from Mercy, the yogurt lady of Buziga, I would have laughed at you.  Yet again humbled at the fascinating twists and turns of life.

Afterwards I opened the birthday cards my family had packed in my luggage before I left (aren’t they the best?).  Reading them gave me a taste of home and made me nostalgic…but it was wonderful.

Emily and I took the day off because:

- It’s my birthday.

- We worked all of last weekend and will work all of the upcoming weekend.

We decided to go the ARA (American Recreational Association).  A country clubb’ish thing not far from Buziga.  When we got there a guard checked underneath our car and in our hood for a bomb.

“What’s that all about?”  I asked Emily.

“Apparently they started doing this back in 1998 (before any of us were here) after the US Embassy Bombings in Nairobi.”

She pointed at a huge 12-foot concrete wall surrounding the entire club.  “They also erected that wall. and put up the huge metal gate we’ll have to pass through with the car.”

Nice.

Emily is a member of the club and I had to pay a 20,000 UsH ($10) fee.  Emily had tennis lessons from 2:00 – 3:00.  I listened to the soft pop of the tennis ball as Emily practiced her forehand and backhand with the instructor.  They darted back and forth on the red clay.  I watched as spirals of red dust clouded around their feet. The red courts contrasted sharply with the huge cumulonimbus clouds climbing massively into the bright blue sky.  I say it again – the sky here is incredibly beautiful.  I can loose myself just staring at it.

As I watched them play tennis I again thought that although volunteers are here for altruistic purposes, there is a bit of voyeurism.  We work hard and we help people, but we also know that we can whisk away to a restaurant locals can’t afford and we can get on a plane and be home in 24 hours.  I think the true heroes are the ones that really give up everything and join the people.  Like a Mother Theresa figure.  (P.S.  Did you know that Mother Theresa suffered from severe, chronic depression and had serious doubts about the existence of God right until the moment she died?).

Played tennis.  Swam.  Read.  Sunbathed.  Watched a father and daughter play in the pool.  Ate a fruit platter.  Went to super market where Emily was acting shady.  Assumed it was birthday related and left her alone.  We came back to the compound and Maggie had created a happy birthday poster for me.  Sandrah had also come over earlier and dropped off some birthday gifts: African bracelet, bookmark, shirt and key chain.  I went to grab my towel to shower and when I came back in the girls were singing happy birthday and walking around with a birthday cake (that’s what Emily was buying in the supermarket).  Very nice!

For dinner I elected to go to the mzungu Indian restaurant I went to on my second night in Uganda Khaana Khaazana. It was great – had my birthday dinner with Lauren, Angelica, Baati, Emily and Maggie.  Interesting to think I had my dinner with 5 people I didn’t know a month ago.  Now they seem like old friends.

Afterwards we went to Bubbles O’Leary, a mzungu Irish bar (the one that was imported from Ireland).  They had a live band and when I walked in the band stopped playing their song and started singing happy birthday to me!  I had to dance the entire length of the song and it felt like the song would never end…but it was funny.  A group of Japanese guys decided to join in and so I ended my birthday song jumping around with a bunch of Japanese folks.

Afterwards we just hung around with some of our friends.  One interesting thing about Bubble O’Leary’s is that since it’s a mzungu hangout there are TONS of prostitutes.  When I say tons I mean that 80% of the woman there are prostitutes (at least that’s what the locals tell me).  Ridiculous…perhaps even more ridiculous is that these mzungus give the women good business.  In a country riddled with AIDS I just don’t understand how anyone could rationalize that decision…

Afterwards we went to Rouge which is a local club.  It was a lot of fun.  DJ Apeman was DJ’ing and he gave us a shout out.  We also saw the most famous Uganda rapper (he only raps in Lugandan so he’s not mainstream at all).  We also saw Ms. Uganda.  She was beautiful but only danced in the corner surrounded by a whole posse of friends and (maybe?) bodyguards?  That’s a very interesting phenomenon in Uganda.  There is definite blurring between the famous and the not-famous.  Celebrities will walk around the clubs and talk and mingle with regular people.  They don’t think they’re any better than anyone else.  There is no VIP room.  The clubs are totally heterogeneous.  It’s quite refreshing.  Afterwards we got into Emily’s car but a “guard” didn’t want to let us leave because he claims he watched over our car.  Emily, who is tough as nails, wasn’t buying it.  She just backed up until the guy had to move or be hit.